I’ve been learning a lot about being true lately.
Often, even when we aren’t trying to, we put on fronts to be someone else before strangers, before friends, and before God. We spend so much time pretending that we soon believe like we think we should. We then try even harder to feel like we should.
And for whatever reason, even in the presence of God, we hide. It’s so funny because we try to be someone who we aren’t in front of a God who sees everything, who really just longs for an honest and open conversation with His children.
I know for myself, in seasons of doubt, my coping method has been to pretend as though everything is fine. This is because of shame. I’ve recently discovered the beauty of bringing all that I am into the presence of God. I’ve been thinking about the Psalmist David and His unabashed vulnerability before God, and how sure he was of the steadfast grace of God. David saw God’s grace as a gift that does not waver, whether he was in a season of nearness or distance from God.
I’ve been laying down the grief, the anger, the messiness, the confusion, the “what- ifs,” the “where are you’s,” and showing the honest disposition of my heart toward God. I am not the one who needs to carry it. I can lay it all down at the feet of Jesus, and He isn’t scared. It’s where real freedom and real healing take place. I’ve been starting to see the change that takes place when I lay face down like an open book before God, saying every word on the page, holding nothing back, trusting that He hears every word.
In fact, I see a God who wants nothing more than the truest words to fall off of my tongue and it’s here I’ve found the sweetest of graces. All I am, the good, the bad, the in- between, the doubt, the belief, the hope, the despair—He says to come and to lay it all down. He can handle it, and He desires our broken spirits to come before Him. Be true, open, and undone before the Lord, and free yourself from the masks, from the “I’m okays” and from the hiding. Life is so so so much more beautiful this way.