Tonight you cannot sleep. And that is okay. Tonight anxiety won’t leave. And that’s okay too. Tonight it feels like all the things you’ve learned about taking care of yourself aren’t realistic. Tonight, even prayer isn’t working. The pressure you feel seems very contradictory to the life you live. Put together on the outside, but terrified on the inside. It seems like you’ve got it together, but you really want to fall apart.
It’s okay. It’s been a while, but days like this have happened before. They will happen again. Breathe. You can do this.
This week feels like everything you knew went up into the air and crashed into a million pieces on the floor. It’s funny how life tends to happen that way. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out it all turns on its side and gives you a new perspective on things. New ways to see life. New problems. New worries. New fears.
New fears. New opportunity. New opportunity for faith. For growth. For progress. A new opportunity for your life to be sharpened; your story to be written. Your testimony to point to the truth that even though life got hard, God was still in control.
Let this moment serve as a marker. Yes, it’s hard, yes it’s scary, and yes it’s unknown. It’s not new territory—you’ve been here before. It feels unfamiliar, but it’s still the road to your destiny. The road to the story that will become your life’s tale and you don’t think you can go down it. Well, you can.
You can freeze. You can crumble. You can give up. You can stop fighting. You can stop believing. Stop trusting. But where will that get you? Here. Here in this moment. Stuck. There is no value in giving up now. No benefit in staying in this place. Criss-cross in this chair, and stuck for the rest of your life. You can freeze, you can give up. But the discomfort you feel now will only continue if you give up.
So don’t. Don’t give up. Crumble, cry, give in, but don’t give up. Don’t stop fighting. Don’t stop pushing. Don’t stop believing. Don’t stop trusting. In the fight, the push, the belief, the trust, you take a step. One step, but a step none the less. A step toward hope. A step towards joy. A step toward peace. A step toward happiness. A step toward rest. A step. Each day that you choose not to give up, you take a step. Each day you choose joy, you take a step. Each day you fight anxiety and disappointment, you take a step. Each day you put yourself first, you take a step. Don’t give up.
God feels distant and faith seems fragile, but don’t give up. This is a defining moment. When the illusions are stripped away, faith remains. Faith, fragile in this moment, yet present. Faith has to be chosen. It’s a decision to believe. To trust. To hope. To resolve that despite what’s going on around you and in you, faith transcends it all. Choose faith. Fragile it may be, still, choose faith. A thousand scriptures flood your brain, but none take root and settle the storm. That’s because they all are already rooted; planted in your heart. You know them. They are there, but faith activates them. Believe that if you dwell in Him, you’ll abide in His shadows. Believe that you can cast your cares on Him because He cares for you. Believe He will take care of tomorrow because you mean more to Him than the birds of the air and the lilies of the field. Believe that He bore your sickness. Believe He will fulfill His promises. Believe that the prayers of the righteous will prevail. Believe that He binds up the broken-hearted. Believe that He washes you white as snow. Believe that there’s nothing that can separate you from the love of God. Believe that He’s championing you. Believe. Believe. Believe.
Tonight it seems like self-care isn’t benefitting you. It feels like your issues have won. Steady yourself, heart. You’ve been here before; you don’t need to be afraid.