You are a beautiful woman. You are handcrafted, gifted, and unique. If you haven’t heard that today I’m happy to drop that bomb in your lap. Unfortunately, previous experiences and outside sources can make you feel less than. Other women and men can make us feel inferior and before we know it we react. We compare, we compete, we often figure out a way to deny or perpetuate these feelings.

The human spirit has been known to compare, compete, self-promote, and degrade others all to protect thine self. It’s bull. We find ourselves comparing our experiences, our aches, our pains, or our achievements against others, and we come up short. We’ve heard “comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s true. It robs the sweet joy right out from under us if we are looking over at her, lining up our accolades, our looks, our pocketbooks, and whatever else, against each other. We feel she would look better in this dress, she would handle it differently, her skin is better, she is more educated, the list goes on, and on, and on. On the flipside, we feel we look, do, and act better than her. Both are damaging to the way we perceive other women and ourselves. We bury ourselves in comparison robbing our souls of an intimate joy found in Jesus, who finds us lovely.

We chip away at our identity in Christ when we think she has it better, she has more. We self-promote and put her down when we feel we have the leg up, robbing her of her dignity in our twisted thinking. 

Bethany Williams CEO of “Author of You,” shares her thoughts on women comparing and competing in the workplace. She said the problem is how we see opportunity. “Far too many women believe that when it comes to getting a piece of the pie, there’s a limited number of slices available to us,” she says. “And this can cause women to cannibalize each other.”

There is room for all of us at the table. Her gifts, her story, her ideas, her dreams, her body type. Rather than demonize another, we can celebrate.

Whether it’s play dates, the office, the gym, or whatever circle, we have an opportunity to position, not to promote ourselves but elevate each other, celebrating each other’s differences, accomplishments, complexions, body types, and healing. When we celebrate her, we become more like Christ, who celebrates our individuality, our story, our life. 

Comparing starts in our thoughts and then moves to our mouths. We have to catch it while it rolls around in our head, and put it in its place. We have to recall our value in Jesus as a beloved daughter, recall her value as a woman, and celebrate what Jesus is doing. Hold tight to the joy, elevate her, and throw kindness around like confetti, over yourself and her.