The cliché phrase opposites attract couldn’t be truer in my marriage. I’m a total type A, scheduled, structured, work before play kind of person. My husband, to my great delight and deep annoyance at times, is the complete opposite. He’s the most laid-back, easygoing, and balanced person I have ever known. He’s the perfect mix of a hard worker and an equally hard player who knows when it’s time to work and when it’s time to kick back and have some fun. I am incredibly grateful for this part of him as he reminds me often what is important in life.
In my type A world, when dinner is over, the table is cleared of dishes. When a load of laundry is finished, it is folded and put away promptly. I’m not a big stop and smell the roses kind of person. When I do stop, if there are roses, then that’s great because I love flowers. But rarely do I stop while running a thousand miles an hour just to smell them. Somehow my husband has found the delicate balance of work, play, and rest. He knows when to slow down, when to stop working, and how to take time to notice and enjoy the little things in life. He’ll call me on his drive home from work at night, “Hey Mer, you have to stop right now and go outside to look at the moon. It’s incredible.” In the middle of sweeping our hardwood floors, he’ll come up behind me, wrap his arms around my waist and kiss me on the cheek, making it impossible to continue for good reason because those are the moments that I need to stop and relish.
That’s what I want to be able to do more of in life but especially in marriage. I want to linger over the table a little longer to find out where our conversations will take us. I want to sit in silence in the sunroom over steaming cups of coffee while the morning mist burns away in the rising midday sun. I want to abandon the to-do list and agendas for spontaneous trips to the river, where we feel the water, breeze, and sun on our skin all day long. Marriage is so much more than perfect houses, nice dinners, clean laundry and grocery lists. Marriage is about connection, growth, vulnerability, joy and a deep enduring love. I don’t want to miss out on one second of that because I was too busy doing the dishes and checking another item off the list.
Don’t miss out on the best things marriage has to offer because the laundry is piling up. Don’t let the gargantuan to do list override the paramount importance of simply being together. Don’t let the big tasks in life rob you of the tiny moments you could share with one another. The mundane times along that way, if missed, would be a terrible and staggering loss.
Being with him is enough. And if I’m guilty of being too busy, I want to be too busy being with him.