What would happen in our relationships if we made a shift from changing you to changing me?

In my story, He made beauty from ashes. He bestowed on me a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. God is changing me. He is transforming me, and I praise him and love him deeply for that.

This change begins to happen when we shift the focus of our energy from needing the other person to change. Instead of asking God, “How do I need to change?” There are two types of people in this world: those who know they need God’s transformation and those who expect everyone else to be transformed.

God lures us into relationships that will change us. Amazing things begin to happen when we realize that it is all about our transformation in the mirror imagine of God. The happiness we all desire is waiting on our willingness to be made holy. God, our Father, wants us to be overcome with joy. He knows that until we deal with our brokenness, our sin, and our insecurities, we aren’t going to be happy.

The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come so that you may have life, and have it to the full.  
John 10:10

When you become unashamed, unafraid, and full of faith, you learn how to put Satan in his corner.

I wish I could sit down with you, have coffee, and tell you about how God saves us with such grace–over and over and over again. He is so good, woah!

My fiancé, Kolby, and I have not always had the relationship we have now. Praise Jesus! I was a control freak, depressed, and unfaithful. I wanted everything to be the way that I wanted it. Exhausted from a busy schedule, I stopped doing the things that I loved. My mind became weakened, and my personality lacked luster. The enemy got a hold of me and ran, but God didn’t let him run too far. When I started making decisions that didn’t glorify Him, I heard God calling my name louder and louder. I could hear it so clearly. He showed me how real, powerful, forgiving, and loving He is. Jesus is contagious. Jesus, the great Prince of Peace, Son of the King, comes and gives his life to rescue his beloved.


He rescued me. I started living in surrender because He is greater than I. Kolby and I noticed a shift when we started to focus on our relationship with God first. We started to love Jesus more than each other. We started to trust each other more because we trusted Christ.

He knows us better than we know ourselves and he works everything out for our good when we call upon him for help.

For example, I was mad at Kolby for something when he left my house one day. I was in the middle of reading my Bible but also distracted by the nagging text I was writing to Kolby. I heard the Lord say, “Sarah, erase all that you have written and put your phone down.” It was so vivid. So, I took a deep breath and listened to Him. One minute later, my front door opened, and Kolby walked in. He kneeled down beside me and said, “I don’t know why, but God told me to turn around and come talk to you.” Wow.

That was such a powerful, sweet, and heartfelt moment for me. I got to see God working in my relationship. God did the fixing, and we did the listening. Imagine what God can do for us if we simply take the time to listen. We ask him for our heart desires, but do we sit and bring our heart to the table first? Imagine the type of healing and restoring transformation that could happen is we open our hearts, ears, and eyes to see the beauty in His plan.

Trust in Jesus always prevails. We have hope in a broken situation.  What a beautiful site to see the works of His hands unfold. He loves to see his children happy. He loves to see his children choosing to overcome their battles.


It is a choice. We often have to make decisions that are hard to make and say things that may be hard to say. It is a beautiful beginning when we come to know one another in a deeper more practical, loving way.

We are learning to rest in the arms of Jesus. We are resting in His work, which is more than enough for us and all our failures. Becoming fully His, frees us to love others in the way God desires.

We are learning to rest in the arms of Jesus. We are resting in His work, which is more than enough for us and all our failures. Becoming fully His, frees us to love others in the way God desires.

Love one another as I have loved you. John 15:12

What would happen if we started to show a Christ-like love that keeps no record of wrongs? What would happen if we asked God to help us forgive those who have hurt us? What would happen if we asked God to help us restore a broken relationship? God caters to our hearts cry for help and makes beauty from ashes. A situation that seems impossible, God makes possible. His love breaks the chains and opens our eyes.

God of new beginnings. God of second chances. In your grace and your love, you give us beauty for ashes!