I would say I am a passionate advocate for self-love, but yet have so much work to do. I’m learning this every day, in different scenarios I encounter – learning to love myself without heightened emotion or reactions to things that happen to me. Learning to love myself on a daily basis, from the minute I get up in the morning to being at work 8 to 4 Monday through Friday and to going to bed at night.
I truly believe self-love can be conquered in every area of life. I have yet to experience every area in life so I can’t confirm this as fact, but I do believe it can be found everywhere and is a battle worth fighting for.
I wanted to highlight a few areas of self-love I have been working on in the past couple of years. There’s so much I could talk about, but these are just a couple (maybe I’ll consider doing a part 2 at some point in Radiant life).
Loving the inner me – this is taking care of my soul in a way that isn’t the kind that produces immediate gratification, but giving my soul what it needs to last months and years rather than days and weeks. It is also continuously giving it that over and over again. I ask myself, what is it that I’m feeling? Why do I feel this way? And then I look for the best way to care for that area. For me, this is through my Bible, worship music, podcasts and praying.
Self Confidence + Belief
I feel these go hand-in-hand. When I’ve faced one, I usually face the other coincidentally. I am a vocalist – I had a moment a few years back as we were training for performances, and I turned to my friend and said ‘I can’t do it, I can’t.’ She turned to me as if something just came upon her, and she said, ‘no Purity, you CAN do it. Repeat that.’ She made me repeat it until I felt uncomfortable and then she told me she never wanted to hear me say I can’t do something again. As I look back, I laugh at that moment, but during it…it was a powerful shift of loving my gift of singing, believing I was able to do it and having the confidence to act accordingly. This kind of self-love may look like you waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and saying ‘I can do this, I am not alone and I have all that I need to do so.’ Day 1 to 10 may be just you speaking some nonsense at yourself in the mirror, but then you’ll truly believe it and walk it.
It may be a shock to you, but self-love has to do with the outside you. My outer self-love has two parts. First, outer self-love is acknowledging myself, loving myself and my flaws, my physical scars and marks, the color of my skin, my long twiggy fingers, my thin hair and thin eyebrows. To look in the mirror and be able to call myself beautiful (and believe it) before any human can. Second, part of my outer self-love is taking care of my outer self; yes, everything can be bad for you, even water (if you have too much). With moderation, you do yourself wonders…sometimes it’s a bowl of vegetables or a bowl of chips draped in aioli. It’s exercising regularly, inside and outside of the gym, walks and taking the stairs. It’s also creating room to get my manicures, pedicures and hair done.
I feel like a lot of these self-love methods overlap each other. Once I reach a new level and understanding of self-love in one area, it adds to my self-love in another. For example, outer self-love of exercising helps my soul caring, my mind clears, and I can think better without heated emotions.
Love yourself enough to last a lifetime. You should love yourself enough to make yourself last until your 100th birthday and be healthy inside and outside.
Why should we self-love? Because I truly believe when you love yourself, you can love people better – after all, we were put on this Earth to love people.