As I was looking ahead and planning articles, I realized the one of my March articles would go live on our wedding anniversary.  While a bit cheesy but equally fitting, here are four lessons from four years of marriage that if given the chance, I would go back and tell my newly married self.

 

Lesson One: Lean into The Change Together.

You’ll never imagine how your life will change, you’ll never be able to anticipate the change but hold on to one another and lean into it together.  Change will always come whether you want it or not and whether you’re ready or not.  Don’t brace or resist it, that will only beat you down and tear you apart.  Hold on to one another and lean into it.  It’ll be a wild ride, thrilling and terrifying altogether but one you don’t want to miss.

 

Lesson Two: Don’t Discount the Importance of the Mundane Days.

It may be mundane, in fact, much of it will be.  You will fold laundry, do yard work, cook dinner, pay bills and do home improvement projects together.  The moments may be mundane but they are not insignificant.  The life you are building together, the bond that you are strengthening, on the days in-between the big and extraordinary moments will sustain you for years to come.  Don’t underestimate the importance of the mundane.

 

Lesson Three: Hold onto Jesus.

He is all that you will ever need.  As you grow older and are married longer, life will become more complex.  Life and marriage will challenge you, test you and cause you to ask questions.  Hold onto Jesus through it all.  He will never let you go.  Even to your old age he will carry you.  He has made and he will bear, he will carry and he will save. (Isaiah 46:4)

 

Lesson Four: Vulnerability is a Journey.

You don’t arrive at vulnerability in marriage.  It’s not an action to be checked off your list.  It’s a process of becoming and a journey to walk together.  In your better moments you will speak of your sadness, joy and fear. In your worse moments, you will act out in unhealthy ways.  Vulnerability is the path that will lead to intimacy where you are able to share your sadness, fear and joy together.  Don’t tap out when it gets hard, stay engaged, stay in it together and you will come to know a love that is richer and deeper than you could ever imagine.