I was wrong. I did not want to admit it. Scouting for defense, I consulted my husband like a defendant pleading her case. In the midst of sticky circumstances, it seems easy to deny fault and find a scapegoat.
I looped the scenario Boomerang app style in my mind. Worn out, I knew I was not gaining ground.
The truth may be harder to admit, but acceptance of truth is always less complicated than blame. It just is.
“Phoebe, she doesn’t owe you an apology. I think this one is on you.”
My husband’s remark stung with truth. A conflict with a friend caught me off guard. My pure intentions mixed with my pride prevented me from owning my mistake. Big girl needed to say sorry.
Before the conflict with my friend, I heard a short sermon by Lisa Bevere. Her gut gripping words rang in my heart, “Two things I can tell you to be true: Jesus loves you fearlessly, and He allows you to make mistakes.”
These are truths I know, but I undoubtedly heard them together that day for a purpose. God opened up a door that exposed sin in my heart, and He was not afraid to deal with it. My mistakes to come did not negate his love from coming first.
He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17
I needed to submit myself to His pruning, His changing, His deconstructing in order to construct something new to hold me together.
Jesus was not afraid of the mistake I made. He loved me in spite of it. Because He loved me and looked to my future without fear of my faults, I could look at the resolution without fear of condemnation.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:17
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. 1 John 4:18a
So, I said sorry. I put down pride in place of God’s purpose, and He did a new thing in me that I’m so thankful I did not miss–not to mention thankful for a friendship I did not lose.
Is there a place you need to own up, Dear Heart? Is there a friend you need to forgive? Sister, by God’s grace and mercy we can fearlessly take action to mend conflict.
God loves a peacemaker, and resolution is written by His Heart. He will help you, just ask. The freedom we find there is worth every effort.