My husband is quite possibly one of the biggest dreamers I’ve ever met, so much so that it’s just plain scary at times. I, on the other hand, have big dreams as well but being that I’m a hardcore realist and type A, almost to my own detriment at times, well….it can make us an interesting pair.
One of the coolest things about marriage that I’ve discovered is that you marry your biggest cheerleader. Justin is without a doubt my biggest fan, and I’m convinced of that partially because he was crazy enough to marry me. Likewise, I claim (although I think his mom and dad might give me a run for my money) to be his biggest fan and will be the first and last to cheer him on in any endeavor.
We’ve come to find in our marriage is that we may indeed be the other’s number one fan and biggest cheerleader, but sadly at times, we don’t always feel that reciprocated.
Cheering the other along and their goals and dreams, we’ve found is a lot like learning to love someone. You learn to love someone in the ways that they primarily feel loved and vice versa.
Some want that number one fan who stands on side sidelines, yelling and cheering on with every play, while others want that fan who shows up for every game and though they may not be the loudest voice out there, when you look up from the field, you can spot them sitting up in the stands every single time.
This past year I’ve learned the value and importance of dreaming alongside my husband, indulging him in conversation about his wildest ideas, even when I may totally be freaking out. My husband is an incredibly smart, responsible and resourceful man and I have enough trust and confidence in him, and I know he will not go take out a second mortgage on our home to fund his new business idea he had in the shower this morning. But still, there are times where I don’t naturally want to jump up and down with resounding excitement when he talks about some of his crazier ideas.
My husband needs the energy and excitement of an idea to propel him into figuring out the logistics and finances whereas I, on the other hand, derive energy and excitement about an idea from having the logistics and finances figured out.
When I immediately jump to logistics and finances with one of my husbands’ ideas or dreams, like I am prone to do, it’s much harder for him to feel my love, support, and excitement. Rather than dreaming alongside him and cheering him on in that moment, it feels more like I am shutting down his idea with my logistics.
When I jump on board, dream alongside Justin, indulging him in his wildest ideas, rather than jumping straight to logistics and finances, he hears me on the sidelines cheering the loudest for him. He sees me out there as his number one fan. And in contrast, when Justin helps me figure out a plan, navigate the unknown and put flesh and bones to an idea, I feel like he’s my biggest fan and my loudest cheerleader.
It’s crazy cool how this stuff happens in marriage. When you are your spouse’s biggest fan, cheering them on every step of the way and, likewise, when you know and feel that your spouse is your biggest fan, it’s an amazing feeling when you both achieve goals and have dreams that come true to celebrate together.